Marriageology: The Art and Science of Staying Together by Belinda Luscombe | Book Review

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“A smart and concise guide to staying together that draws on scientific findings, expert advice, and years in the marital trenches to explain why marriage is better for your health, your finances, your kids, and your happiness

Like you, probably, Belinda Luscombe would rather have had her eyes put out than read a book about marriage; they all seemed full of advice that was obvious, useless, or bad. Plus they were boring. But after covering the relationship beat for Time magazine for ten years, she realized there was a surprisingly upbeat and little-known story to tell about the benefits of staying together for the long haul. Casting a witty, candid, and probing eye on the latest behavioral science, Luscombe has written a fresh and persuasive report on the state of our unions, how they’ve changed from the marriages of our parents’ era, and what those changes mean for the happiness of this most intimate and important of our relationships.

A guide to staying together that combines the latest scientific data, personal stories, and expert advice, arguing that marriage is better for your health, your finances, and your happiness, by an award-winning Time journalist.

Surveying the latest behavioral science and folding it into her witty, engaging, and candid knack for storytelling, Belinda Luscombe has written a fresh and persuasive report on the state of our unions. This book examines the six major fault lines that can fracture a marriage, also known as Luscombe’s F-words: familiarity, fighting, family, finances, fooling around, and finding help. She presents facts, debunks myths, and provides an entertaining mix of data, anecdotes, and wisdom from a wide range of approaches to married life, as well as experts and therapists of the wedding, marriage, and divorce industries. Marriageology gives the reader something to think about and maybe try, whether the marriage in question is on the brink of collapse or just needs a bit of maintenance on the foundations.”


Marriageology was such a fascinating read on marriage and long term relationships. Luscombe’s writing was approachable with the perfect mix of scientific research, personal stories, and advice. I found myself nodding along so many times with her anecdotes regarding her own marriage history. She shares a wonderful perspective that is relatable yet also hopeful. Her ability to share the hardships of some of the biggest stumbling blocks of marriage was super accessible.

She points out the 6 major “fault lines” that can fracture a marriage and how to navigate them personally and as a couple. Like many non-fiction books, certain chapters stood out to me more and I especially connected with the commentary and research she shared in the parenting section, it was spot on. I also am so happy she talked about how helpful therapy can be, and not just at times of serious distress but also as a regular practice.

I learned so much from this book and I highly recommend it for anyone that is navigating a long term relationship. Thank you to NetGalley and Random House Publishing for a copy of this book. All opinions are my own.

What’s On Your Nightstand Series| Book Recommendations & More | Katy

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Hi everyone, happy Friday! Today I am excited to introduce you to my friend Katy. Katy was one of my roommates and best friends in college and she is one of the most wonderful and kind people I know. She and I have also always shared some of my most treasured hobbies… reading and drinking coffee.

Katy actually introduced me to lattes and Starbucks when we were in college. This was in the early 2000s when Starbucks was just making it’s way to Vermont. They used to have a Maple Latte (with real maple syrup!) and they were amazing. We would drive there together and both order this…and it was quite the exciting outing and treat for us in those days.

Katy is wonderful and always has a new stack of books she is just waiting to dive into. I hope you enjoy hearing about what she is reading. <3


Introduction:

Hello, I am Katy. I live in Connecticut with my wife and our two rescue tiger cats, Leo and Dragon. We are newly married but we want to start a family very soon. I work in early childhood education as a teacher and I have been an avid and voracious reader since the crib, where I would sleep with my books. I was an English and Education major at SMC and since I went the education route for a career, reading is one of my favorite hobbies. I always have stacks of books on my nightstand from the library and my nightstand has a second level that contains all the books I own that I want to read at some point and just haven’t gotten to. I live across the street from a library, so I frequent there once a week or so and get new stacks for my nightstand. I am much more of a hard copy book reader, and since I live so close to the library, I can get the bestsellers, and “hot” books that are out. I do have a Kindle and I like reading on that as well, but I prefer hard copy books. I use my Kindle more for travel or on the go reading.

What’s on my Nightstand:

On my nightstand are usually two stacks of books; the TBR pile, and the books that I am currently reading. I sometimes like to alternate between fiction and non-fiction (yes, I am that person), or other book genres, depending on my mood when I settle in for the night to read. I read a wide variety of genres, from non-fiction and realistic fiction to YA and fantasy novels so anything can end up in my stacks. I also have my kindle and a bullet journal on my nightstand.

My TBR pile is:

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han: I like to read YA when I am in the mood for something light and fluffy. I have heard that this book was cute and also that the Netflix movie was fun as well, so I wanted to give this one a try.

An Unwanted Guest by Shari Lapena: I love thrillers, and I loved A Couple Next Door by this author so when I went to the library I picked up two more books by this author to read when I was in the mood for some suspense. Other thrillers I recently read and recommend that are similar are, The Other Woman, There Is Something In the Water and The Last Mrs. Parrish.

Rust and Stardust by T. Greenwood: This story is another thriller that was on the new book shelf at the library so I grabbed it not knowing much about it on the recommendation of the librarian.

Room by Emma Donoghue: This is probably the heaviest book in my stack as far as subject matter. I have always wanted to read this book because I have heard that it is fantastic, but I would have to be in the mood to read this kind of story, especially because it is from the narrative viewpoint of a five-year-old and working with that age group it might be a sad one for me to get through.

Books I am currently reading:

A Stranger In the House by Shari Lapena: I started reading this last night and I have been flying through it. It was a little slow to start but I was hooked pretty quickly and now I have to know what is going on in this story. It reminds me of What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty because the main character has amnesia, and I am a fan of books with what is called the “unreliable” narrator. I think they are fun.

I’ll Be There for You: The One About Friends by Kelsey Miller: Friends has always been one of my favorite shows to watch reruns. This nonfiction book is about the behind the scene information about the show and its characters has been a very interesting read so far. I am enjoying it.

On my Kindle:

China Rich Girlfriend by Kevin Kwan: I LOVED Crazy Rich Asians, so I was anxious to read the second book once I heard there were three books in the series. So far I haven’t liked it as much as the first book, but I haven’t given it much of a shot yet.

What else is on my nightstand:

I have a bullet journal of books that I have read so far in 2019 ( I love to make lists) and I also will write books that I want to read in this journal as well. I like to have something to grab if I want to make a list, books to read or otherwise. I cannot keep a water bottle on my nightstand or cup or water, because LEO (my 14-pound tiger) is always on my nightstand wanting attention and he will knock over water onto all of my books. I learned that the hard way. I do keep a container of Sleepy lotion by Lush because I love the way it smells and the scent is perfect for relaxing. Buddha hangs out on my nightstand as well, but he sometimes ends up on the floor because of Leo or Dragon deciding they want to rearrange things. I also have my Burts Bees Chapstick (favorite brand), and my book light for night reading.

This was so much fun to write and share, I love reading Gen’s posts and I am so honored she asked me to write something for her blog. 🙂


Thank you so much for sharing today, Katy!! xo

Notes on a Nervous Planet by Matt Haig | Book Review

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“The societies we live in are increasingly making our minds ill, making it feel as though the way we live is engineered to make us unhappy. When Matt Haig developed panic disorder, anxiety, and depression as an adult, it took him a long time to work out the ways the external world could impact his mental health in both positive and negative ways. Notes on a Nervous Planet collects his observations, taking a look at how the various social, commercial and technological “advancements” that have created the world we now live in can actually hinder our happiness. Haig examines everything from broader phenomena like inequality, social media, and the news; to things closer to our daily lives, like how we sleep, how we exercise, and even the distinction we draw between our minds and our bodies.”

“I sometimes feel like my head is a computer with too many windows open. Too much clutter on the desktop. There is a metaphorical spinning rainbow wheel inside me. Disabling me. And if only I could find a way to switch off some of the frames, if only I could drag some of the clutter into the trash, then I would be fine. But which frame would I choose, when they all seem so essential? How can I stop my mind from being overloaded when the world is overloaded? We can think about anything. And so it makes sense that we end up thinking about everything. We might have to, sometimes, be brave enough to switch the screens off in order to switch ourselves back on. To disconnect in order to reconnect.” ― Matt Haig, Notes on a Nervous Planet

This book was my first by Matt Haig and I found it very engaging. I love how he normalizes mental health issues but also asks such thought-provoking questions within his writing. I won this in a Goodreads giveaway and devoured the short chapters which led to very interesting conversations with my friend who also was reading the book at the same time.

The chapters are short and quick and so it is a book that is easy to take in a little at a time. I love the importance he places on true connection with each other. Some of it was a little “out there” but I do agree that technology has changed the ways we interact and connect with one another and he had some powerful reminders and perspective about this.