Girl Stop, Apologizing by Rachel Hollis | Harper Collins Leadership | Book Review

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Girl, Stop Apologizing Book Summary:

“Rachel Hollis has seen it too often: women not living into their full potential. They feel a tugging on their hearts for something more, but they’re afraid of embarrassment, of falling short of perfection, of not being enough.

In Girl, Stop Apologizing, #1 New York Times bestselling author and founder of a multimillion-dollar media company, Rachel Hollis sounds a wake-up call. She knows that many women have been taught to define themselves in light of other people—whether as wife, mother, daughter, or employee—instead of learning how to own who they are and what they want. With a challenge to women everywhere to stop talking themselves out of their dreams, Hollis identifies the excuses to let go of, the behaviors to adopt, and the skills to acquire on the path to growth, confidence, and believing in yourself.”

My history with Rachel Hollis & Girl Wash Your Face:

I’ll admit it, I fell down the Rachel Hollis rabbit hole last winter. I read Girl, Wash Your Face in February 2018 and found many parts of it inspiring. As with most self-help or personal growth books, I did not connect with every section but did find some of it to be relatable and helpful and there was a quirky and funny side of Rachel that made her writing feel approachable.

At the time, I found some of it to be very relatable and I still think about the chapter about not breaking a promise to yourself when it comes to goals and things that are important to you. I had no idea who Rachel Hollis was at the time but I happily followed along on her social media accounts, listened to her podcasts and even went to the Made For More screening at the movie theater this summer which now makes me cringe a little.

My experience with her content over the last year:

Slowly, something started changing. I get that it must be a total mind twister to have your social media following grow so exponentially like it did during this past year, but any humility or relatability has gone right out the window. I think if I read Girl, Wash Your Face again now, I would struggle like I did reading this one. At the time the cutesy phrases seemed like a way to connect with other women who are just trying to reach her goals while also balancing the everyday juggling of having a young family, And I feel naive saying that.

I think much of that was a marketing tactic to connect because all of that is gone and Girl, Stop Apologizing is one big humblebrag that lacks so much self-awareness and empathy for other’s situations it is astonishing.

My thoughts on Girl, Stop Apologizing:

I tried going into her new release with an open mind but I most certainly had a different take on it from the experiences and things I have seen over the last year. I talked more about that HERE if you are interested…

Her section about the darkest time of her childhood being when her mom left an unhealthy marriage and she was “forced” to live in a “crappy” apartment left my mouth hanging open. Saying her mom shouldn’t have left an unhealthy marriage if she didn’t have the financial resources to do so was the nail in the coffin for me. As a woman who supposedly wants to “support other women,” this is frightening information to be passing along to someone who might be in the same situation. There is little to no perspective in her storytelling and some of it is downright harmful.

I don’t even want to get started on her chapters about her previously (also postpartum) being “overweight” at a size 12-14…or her E for elephant-sized breastfeeding breasts because it was so insulting and out of touch. The average American woman is a size 16-18 and talking about how terrible she looked at the size of 12 is wrong on so many levels.

Her chapter about volunteering at her children’s school became a “do you know how many requests I get as a social media empire, do you think I want to use my time doing a mind-numbing task such as stuffing 1st-grade classroom envelopes?”

Listen, if she doesn’t want to volunteer all the time, I don’t think there is any shame in that but talking about it like this is flat out disrespectful. Let’s be real, I don’t think the teachers or other volunteers enjoy it every second either and it still needs to get done and maybe let’s just appreciate that without talking about the millions of other things you would rather be doing instead?

There is an undercurrent during this book that feels like Hollis is talking down to you as the reader, and we can’t even imagine how busy and demanding her life is. I would imagine a vast majority of people reading this book are juggling many balls too…

She then went on and on about how much shame other moms gave her if she didn’t volunteer. I don’t live where she lives, but for someone who talks about not caring what other people think, this entire book was filled with all the things people gave her grief about but she was so BRAVE not to do them, such as volunteering at school, or gasp, NOT staying home with her kids.

Maybe she is trying to speak to a different audience but never in my life has someone made me feel badly about working or not doing “all the things” at our children’s school. We live in a liberal state (and one that for many families needs two working parents because of the cost of living)and I have never felt the idea that women needed to stay home with their kids and were shamed if they didn’t…or vice versa!

Everyone is allowed to make their own choices, and maybe Hollis should follow her own advice and surround herself with people that support her dreams because she sure does a lot of contradicting herself in this book. 

I am not saying you have to do it all, and I certainly think it is okay to ask for help, but many of the messages I received from this book were alarming. There are many parts of being an adult, parenting, and working that you might not enjoy every second of the time. The idea that if you don’t LOVE something, don’t do it, just put such a bad taste in my mouth. 

In summary why I WOULD NOT recommend this book:

All in all, this book, was not for me. I don’t think I have ever struggled so much with writing a book review as I have with Girl, Stop Apologizing. There were some messages about goal setting and following your own path that I do think could be helpful but they were so far overshadowed by the other content in this book. I never want to put someone else down, but as a woman, this book has so many dark and unhealthy messages, not just for women but for our society as a whole. I thought it was important to share this review as I have recommended her content in the past and will no longer do so.


If you have read her books I would love to know your reaction in the comments below! And thank you for taking the time to read this (longer) review. <3

Coffee Talk | Currently Loving…Documentaries & Poke Bowls

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Coffee Talk WEDNESDAY!

Hello! Do you notice anything different around here?! I feel like I have been trying to fit a square peg into a round hole with having Coffee Talk Tuesday. Absolutely NO ONE cares what day I post this, but I work best by external motivators so having a day I do things keeps me accountable.

Do you have a day of the week that always feels more frantic than the others? Tuesday is that for me. It is a shorter school day which means everything else is crammed into fewer hours and this blog, as much as I love, doesn’t always end up being my top priority. And I love sharing what I am currently loving, so I am devoting an entirely new day to it!

I often end up starting these posts (or any posts on here) and needing to come back to finish it later. I have this fantasy of writing pre-scheduled posts but I don’t know… I could do that with reviews and but I really like the journaling in real time aspect of blogging like this. Maybe it is because I was a “blogger” 10 years ago too and that is how it was done! I miss those days, times were so simple. 😉

Do you still read a lot of blogs? I still follow a ton on “Bloglovin” which I don’t think is entirely user-friendly but I like that it lets me know when blogs I follow are updated. I miss Google Reader and I was so sad when they shut it down because I haven’t found anything that compares…it was the best!

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Alright, enough of that…on to what I am currently up to this week…


Currently Loving…

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First, I need to give a shout out to the 24/7 chat support at WordPress! As I have been working on making this blog more user-friendly, content heavy and sometimes just more pleasing to the eye, I have had A LOT of questions. They are so helpful! It’s so nice to have immediate help even at 5 in the morning…So if you have a WordPress blog and have no idea what you are doing too…check out the help section!

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I am also loving all the sunshine this week, it truly makes such a big difference. We have had winter weather here since November and although it doesn’t look like spring quite yet, just having the longer days and some sunny days is so good for your soul and your mental health!

Currently Watching…

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We have been watching the HBO documentary about Adnan Syed and it is totally making me want to listen to Serial again! It has been so long that is hard for me to remember all the details. Like a lot of people, it was the first podcast I ever listened to and it opened my eyes to a whole new world of content!

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We also watched The Inventor: Out For Blood in Silicon Valley and now I really wanted to read Bad Blood. Have you read it? I have heard such great things!

Currently eating…

Well, I am not currently eating this but we have been on a poke bowl kick from The Scale lately and oh my gosh, it is just the best lunch ever! I have mine with salmon or tuna and Kristy likes chicken. We don’t get them a lot but is a fun lunch treat and is always so filling.

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Today I had a mozzarella burrata ball, carrot sticks, and 4 thin mints, so you can’t win them all…but it was delicious!

Currently listening to…

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I love listening to non-fiction on Audible and I am so excited to start this new book that was recommended by a reading friend. After being very disappointed by Girl, Stop Apologizing (review to come soon!),I am so excited to be moving on to something I think I will connect a lot more with.

Molly Millwood is a local psychologist and I am so looking forward to her conversation in To Have and to Hold regarding motherhood and marriage…As someone who struggled immensely during the transition to parenthood, I can so relate to how the addition of a small baby can rock your world in such a life-changing way.

“A clinical therapist’s exploration of the complexities of early motherhood, including its impact on a marriage, in a book that offers comfort, camaraderie, and practical guidance to new mothers.

When Molly Millwood became a mother, she was fully prepared for all that she would gain: an adorable baby boy, hard-won mothering skills, and a messy, chaotic, love-filled home. But she didn’t anticipate what she would lose: an identity, a baseline level of happiness, a general sense of wellbeing. And just when she was feeling her most vulnerable, her happy marriage-long a bedrock of stability and comfort-seemed to shift in unexpected ways too, tinged by anger and resentment.

As a clinical psychologist, Molly knew her experience was a normal response to a life-changing event-she was not broken, and neither was her marriage. But without the benefit of such a perspective, many of women she saw in treatment grappled with shame, self-doubt, and fear-all the while struggling to confide in, trust, or seek comfort in their partners.

In To Have and To Hold, Molly illuminates the ways in which motherhood impacts a woman emotionally, psychologically, physically, and professionally as well as how it impacts the stability and harmony of her relationship. Along with the arrival of a bundle of joy comes thorny issues such as identity, control, autonomy, and dependency. And these issues are, most often, experienced within the context of an intimate relationship, adding another layer of complication, conflict, and confusion to an already challenging time.

As Molly examines the inextricable link between women’s wellbeing as new mothers and the wellbeing of their relationships, she offers information and guidance to help readers reclaim their identities and repair their relationships. A blend of personal narrative, rigorous research, and stories from Molly’s clinical practice, To Have and To Hold provides a lifeline to new mothers everywhere.”


That’s all for today! I hope you have a great rest of your Wednesday. <3

We Rise by Lifting Others | Inspiring Friends

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(image from brit.co)

This quote speaks to me so much. Without a doubt, the most important things in my life are in the people that are in it. This last year has been one of the hardest in my adult life and it has also reminded me so much of the absolutely amazing and inspiring friendships I am so lucky to have. True friendships support you and challenge you and push you to be your very best self.

Today I wanted to talk about some of my entrepreneur friends. I am not only grateful for these women but I am so inspired by them in their professional ventures…

Kristy at Kristy Dooley Photography:

My friend and co-worker Kristy not only rocks family and newborn sessions but in the last year she started regularly shooting high school senior portrait sessions and is amazing at it! Like I asked her if she could re-take mine just because she is so amazing at capturing the senior’s genuine smiles, style, and personalities. I think mine would not look quite the same though, LOL. But really, she is one of those people who comes up with an idea and totally goes for it and I have learned so much from her.

She runs a successful business partly because of her amazing business brain that helps her work smarter not harder. I am someone who tends to be very disorganized with paperwork and accounting and her systems have taught me so much.

There is nothing Kristy can’t figure out and we spend a lot of time learning how to do something tricky on our computers by watching YouTube videos. Kristy is always expanding her knowledge and skills by taking workshops and classes that allow her to learn about something new while also building upon her talent as an amazing photographer. She is also a wonderful example of someone who juggles a lot but always has “time” to take a walk in the sun or catch up over a cup of tea…a true “Juliet“. <3

Kari of Happy Go Lucky Travel:

My friend Kari who is a programmer by day and vegan baker extraordinaire by night has recently decided to start a new venture sharing about her love and expertise with travel planning. When Kari decides she is doing something she does it 100% and as someone who likes to do a lot of things but not always very well, I am so in awe of this!

Not only does she have a family and a full-time job doing things on a computer that look like a completely foreign language, but she also loves painting, drawing and teaching herself how to play the banjo while watching Avett Brothers videos.  She is one of the most self-motivated people I have ever met. Last year she made a commitment to walk up Mt. Philo every day on her lunch break and you better believe she has done it. In addition to doing all these things, she is an amazingly supportive friend who helps me talk through lots of things even if she totally hates talking on the phone a million times a day.

Elisa at Corduroy & Pine Interiors:

My friend Elisa juggles a young family of three and a local interior design business. Anytime I call Elisa she is like “hold on a sec, I just need to set down my paintbrush”. She has amazing style and I love that she is able to factor in aesthetically pleasing designs that are also family friendly.

Elisa is one of the kindest people I know and she is always up for an adventure even if it is just to the grocery store. She was my nightstand of the week guest poster last week if you would like to learn more about her and see her book recommendations and her freshly painted bedroom wall. 😉


Who is inspiring you this week? I would love to hear! <3