You’re Not Listening by Kate Murphy | Celadon Books {Gen The Bookworm Book Review}

Celadon Books

You’re Not Listening by Kate Murphy

Book Summary:

At work, we’re taught to lead the conversation.
On social media, we shape our personal narratives.
At parties, we talk over one another. So do our politicians.
We’re not listening.
And no one is listening to us.

Despite living in a world where technology allows constant digital communication and opportunities to connect, it seems no one is really listening or even knows how. And it’s making us lonelier, more isolated, and less tolerant than ever before. A listener by trade, New York Times contributor Kate Murphy wanted to know how we got here.

In this always illuminating and often humorous deep dive, Murphy explains why we’re not listening, what it’s doing to us, and how we can reverse the trend. She makes accessible the psychology, neuroscience, and sociology of listening while also introducing us to some of the best listeners out there (including a CIA agent, focus group moderator, bartender, radio producer, and top furniture salesman). Equal parts cultural observation, scientific exploration, and rousing call to action that’s full of practical advice, You’re Not Listening is to listening what Susan Cain’s Quiet was to introversion. It’s time to stop talking and start listening.

Publication Date:

January 7th, 2020

Genre:

Communication

My Rating:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫⁣

My Review:

Kate Murphy

You’re Not Listening

“When all we crave is to understand and be understood, You’re Not Listening shows us how.”⁣

In You’re Not Listening, author Kate Murphy explains what listening truly is and isn’t, and how important it is to our connection with ourselves and one another. Not only is this book super fascinating but it is always making me rethink so many things!

In our technology-filled world, there are so many new ways for us to interact, yet we are all longing for connection more than ever before. Many of us long for the days of simplicity and meaningful face to face conversations. When we do interact, it is often rushed and interrupted by the distractions of the fast-paced world around us.

I loved the balance of informative research and relatable text that made You’re Not Listening both engaging and thought-provoking. I also appreciated that Murphy emphasizes that listening skills are learned through implementation and practice and that it is something we can always learn, no matter how old we are.

“It takes awareness, focus, and experience to unearth and understand what is really being communicated. Good listeners are not born that way, they become that way.”

From The Publisher…Q&A with Author Kate Murphy:

communication

How did you get the idea to write this book?

As a journalist, I listen for a living, and, increasingly, I noticed that people I interviewed seemed surprised, almost taken aback, that I was actually paying attention to what they said. They began telling me profoundly personal things, wholly unrelated to the stories I was writing, as if they’d been long waiting for the opportunity. And these were very successful, well-connected people—not lacking for company, but apparently lacking for listeners. They would always thank me for listening, and also often apologize for unloading. It happened with such regularity, it made me think this was something worth investigating.

What does it mean to be a good listener?

What I found is that rather than being a checklist of dos and don’ts, listening is more a state of mind. It’s about getting yourself in a receptive mode and also developing an awareness of the kinds of things that hijack your attention, cloud your perception, and make you zone out during a conversation. And, just as importantly, listening has to do with how well you respond—the degree to which you are able to encourage and elicit the clear expression of someone else’s thoughts. It’s both an art and a skill.

How do we balance planning what to say next and listening to the person talking?

A better response will come to you when you have taken in all that the other person has to say. Then, pause if you need to after the other person concludes to think about what you want to say. And if you’re still at a loss, it’s okay to say, “I don’t know what to say.” You can also say, “I’d like to think about that,” which conveys that you’re honoring what the other person said by taking time to think about it, while, at the same time, honoring that part of you that is uncertain or anxious and needs time to process. Better that, than responding in a way that is insensitive or misses the point.

Thank you to Celadon Books for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.


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Stories That Stick by Kindra Hall | HarperCollins Leadership {Book Review}

Stories That Stick book review

Stories That Stick by Kindra Hall

Book Summary:

You keep hearing how story is the latest-and-greatest business tool, and that storytelling can do everything—from helping leaders better communicate to motivating sales teams and winning customers away from competitors.

But what stories do you need to tell? And how do you tell them?

In Stories That Stick, Kindra Hall, professional storyteller and nationally-known speaker, reveals the four unique stories you can use to differentiate, captivate, and elevate:

  • the Value Story, to convince customers they need what you provide;
  • the Founder Story, to persuade investors and customers your organization is worth the investment;
  • the Purpose Story, to align and inspire your employees and internal customers; and
  • the Customer Story, to allow those who use your product or service to share their authentic experiences with others.

Telling these stories well is a simple, accessible skill anyone can develop. With case studies, company profiles, and anecdotes backed with original research, Hall presents storytelling as the underutilized talent that separates the good from the best in business. She offers specific, actionable steps readers can take to find, craft, and leverage the stories they already have and simply aren’t telling.

Every person, every organization has at least four stories at their disposal. Will you tell yours?

Publication Date:

September 24th, 2019

Genre:

Communication & Marketing

My Rating:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

My Review:

As someone who works in the creative side for multiple small businesses, I have seen time and time again how a connection is such an important part of a lasting relationship with clients and customers. When I think about my own experiences, authenticity, and sharing is what has brought me closer in so many of my relationships, both personally and professionally.

I loved this accessible, poignant and very timely resource on how we can better share our stories. A narrative can add the personal component that boosts connection and also a memorable experience. In a time where people are overwhelmed with data and information from sun up to sundown, this book shares how you can share and have your stories standout.

Kindra Hall excels at writing something that is both relatable and inspiring. I took so much away from Stories That Stick and I know I will refer back to it time and time again.

Thank you to NetGalley & HarperCollins Leadership for an advanced copy.

Say What You Mean | Book Review

Book Review-2

What we say matters. This book came at a great time for me and was a powerful read of helpful advice based on the mindfulness practice, to have more positive communication. Words can heal, sooth or uplift us and they can also cause great harm.

Mindfulness is being aware of what is happening in the present moment in a balanced and non-reactive way. In order to connect mindfulness to your daily communication Sofer recommendations following these three basic guidelines…

1. Lead with presence.
2. Come from curiosity and care.
3. Focus on what matters.

I love the advice in this book and so many of the points have really stuck with me. I love the chapter that talked about self-awareness and how this can affect the communication we have with others. We need to show up for ourselves and others and sometimes taking a pause before speaking can really help with this. The more aware we are the more choices that we have. We also must have trust and confidence in our own voices.

I highly recommend this book and found so much of it helpful and relatable to my life. Thanks to NetGalley and Shambala Publications for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.