October 1st, 2019 Book Releases {New Book Publications}

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October Book Releases:

It’s October 1st which means we are starting a great month of new book releases! If I were a book, I would like to be published in October because not only is it the best month ever but it is my very favorite time of the year to read! There are so many awesome books coming out during the next few weeks and before the holidays when new book releases tend to slow down a bit until the new year.

Now that we are back into regular routines because of the school year, I am trying to get back into some of my weekly blog series too. I always love sharing new book publications and so here are some I am excited about today!

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Fair Play by Eve Rodsky

Fair Play by Eve Rodsky was released today and Reese’s Book Club just announced it is their October 2019 book selection! I love that it is going to get so much attention now because this topic is so important.

While we have learned a lot as the years have gone by, figuring out the daily logistics of life with work, marriage, kids and household tasks is a constant juggling act. Fair Play both takes on and tackles the topics of the mental load, second shift, emotional labor and invisible work that in the 21st century still cause a great imbalance in many families ‘ home lives.

Fair Play was a 5-star book for me and was such an awesome conversation starter in our own marriage. The book is relatable while also having a proactive approach to managing household/family/life tasks while also balancing your own goals and desires.

You can read my full review of Fair Play HERE.

It is also one of the upcoming book choices for our Better Together Book Club and I can’t wait to discuss it more then.

Gen The Bookworm

Cilka’s Journey by Heather Morris

Can you believe I just read The Tattooist of Auschwitz two months ago?! It was on my TBR list for a while but when an ARC of Cilka’s Journey arrived in my mailbox I knew I needed to prioritize it ASAP.

Cilka was one of the characters in The Tattooist of Auschwitz and I was interested to learn more about her. Cilka’s Journey is a powerful story that was inspired by the true to life experiences of Auschwitz-Birkenau survivor Cilka who ends up in a Siberian work camp after being charged as a collaborator for “sleeping with the enemy”. This novel is not an easy read as it confronts the issue of rape during wartime.

While this story does focus on the atrocities that happened to Cilka(and many others), it also shares the heroic efforts she was a part of. Cilka has a compassion for others that guides her through the toughest of times and this part of the story was both heartbreaking and utterly compelling. How Cilka chose to use the gifts she was given to help others was so powerful and a reminder of the beacon of light in humanity even in the most horrific of times.

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Your Turn by Dr. Tyra Manning

“Writing my stories helps me remember the good times and the worst of times, and offers me the opportunity to understand them. Writing and celebrating my stories helps me heal. Hindsight gives me many gifts: clarity, acceptance, forgiveness, and new perspectives on past experiences. I am not unique in having lovely and sometimes sad stories in my repertoire. Sharing our life stories teaches us that we have more commonalities than differences. It brings us closer.”

-Dr. Tyra Manning

I love anything that helps remind us that we are more alike than different. I have always been a big fan of sharing our stories because it can help us connect and also help us feel less alone.

Your Turn is a guide and collection of personal essays that demonstrates how to share more effectively and find meaning in the ups and downs of our lives. Manning shares her own personal stories while also providing writing prompts to encourage you to start sharing too.

Thank you to Book Sparks for sharing an advanced copy with me. 

10 Year Wedding Anniversary! {Wedding & Honeymoon Memories & 24-Hours Away in Stowe!}

9.19.09 Wedding Memories…

Daria Bishop Photographers(Wedding Photos by Daria Bishop Photographers)

Last Thursday we celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary!  It was a regular work and school day for us so we went to a 4:45pm pizza dinner with the kids followed by ice cream at the Scoop and then called it a day.

 

dinner with kids

Anniversary photo by our 9-year-old! We did manage to get away though…

On Friday we headed away for a 24-hour escape!

Stowe, Vermont weekend

We got married in Stowe so we have always liked celebrating up there every year. We have managed to make it there 9/10 years so that is pretty good! It is close by but feels like a whole different world and has so many special memories for us. We, of course, had to stop at Cold Hollow Cider Mill on our way! I love cider donuts but I don’t like the ones with sugar sprinkled all over them so these ones are my very favorite!

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We got married at Stowe Mountain Lodge, which is now The Lodge at Spruce Peak. Our wedding was one of their very first ones because they had just opened in 2009 so it has grown and changed so much since then!

Stowe, Vermont weekend

I like to act like I am a tourist when I am in Stowe (actually all of the time really…) and so I totally made Lucas pull over so I could take the iconic Stowe shot. We also took lots of selfies at our wedding ceremony location.

The Lodge at Spruce PeakWe didn’t have big plans which was exactly what we were looking for! These days, our lives feel like go, go, go, all the time. I know this is just part of the stage of life we were in with our kids, but downtime is a special thing right now!

We had lunch on the patio and then read by the pool with our Kindles. It was amazing! Our kids had school on Friday which is why we decided to go up then because it allowed us to need a little less childcare help and a weekday is always a little quieter up there so that was nice!

The Lodge at Spruce Peak

We had dinner and then read our Kindles by the fireplace, Facetimed with the kids and were asleep by 9:30! Regular routines are hard to break but it was lovely to have zero demands from anybody!

latte art

The next morning we were up by 6:30 so we found some coffee & maple lattes and had a relaxing morning.

Stowe wedding

After breakfast, we said “goodbye and see you next year!” to our special spot and headed off to meet our boys at their fall soccer jamboree. Our friends watched the kids for us so we could go away which we are so grateful for!

And just for fun, here is what we were doing 10 years ago right now…

St. John

We were on our honeymoon in St. John USVI. We rented a villa and a jeep for the week and it was just the best. Maybe for our 15th anniversary, we will go back there! I am also very proud of these honeymoon “selfies” because I took them with my little Canon digital camera! We definitely did not have iPhones back then…

St. John USVI

We had the best time exploring, snorkeling, eating lots of delicious food and reading(in the shade!) See, some things never change, ha!

honeymoon in St. John

Thanks for letting me reminisce a little! I hope you had a wonderful weekend. <3

 

Coffee Talk | Currently Loving…{Back to School, Vermont Life & Favorite Podcast Episodes}

currently loving...

Checking-In:

Oh hello! It’s been a little quiet around here with my more personal posts. It is fairly easy to share book reviews a few times a week because I have already written most of them for partnering publishers, but these take a while because I always have way too much to share! I like having a mix of book chatter and also some daily life so these posts are important to me but they just haven’t been able to be as much of a priority during this busier season of work.

The Dream Daughter Kindle Deal!

Before I share anything, I have to post that The Dream Daughter is a Kindle Deal today!! If you haven’t grabbed this yet, you need to! It is my favorite Diane Chamberlain book ever.

Finding Space

During the last couple of weeks, we started finding our regular rhythm again with the start of school for the boys. I am a creature of habit so while I am sad to lose the long days of summer I very much embrace this time of the year.

The pictures above are the perfect example of why parents have a harder time during summer…you are never alone! I was impressed with how much self-care I was able to fit in while doing the weekly grocery shopping and my BIL and SIL(whom I randomly ran into at the store) were just delighted to take this photo for me, ha!

Yup, I totally wore my noise-canceling headphones to the grocery store to listen to my audiobook while I shopped, and lots of people looked at me like I had 3 heads. You have to find space when you can and I have no shame. 😉

End of Summer

On our last weekend of summer vacation, we had a campfire in the yard and make S’mores. I am also very excited about my new Ogunquit sticker from our family vacation and I had many water bottles in my cupboard to choose from for where I would display it. We try to not get a bunch of junk as souvenirs(we already have enough!) so stickers have been a fun thing to get when we travel. Buzz was just happy we were all reunited! Speaking of Maine, I am planning on sharing my post on our trip this weekend, so stay tuned.

Back to School

The boys headed back to school and everyone was excited except Buzz! They are now in 1st and 4th grade and it has been a fairly smooth transition. The hardest part has been getting everyone back on an earlier bedtime and I don’t see this struggle going away anytime soon.

The boys were excited to take my back to school photo and I was more than happy to oblige!

Kari and I celebrated quickly at Philo Ridge before headed off to our first days of work, ALONE!

Kristy and I were excited for our first day together without kids(our kids had opposite childcare schedules which worked great for work coverage but not so much for being able to work together) since June. We got a lot of work done and also got to catch up! I was able to finalize my post about The Better Together Book Club and Buzz was ecstatic to pick the kids up at school at the end of the day. He picked his newest bandana up at the Skida sidewalk sale.

Vermont Life

It is absolutely my favorite time of year and I wish it was sweatshirt and jeans weather all year long. We have lucked out with a gorgeous September so far. It has been the perfect temperature and I am hoping it stays that way. I am done with the heat!

Back to the Barre

I am back in my regular barre before work routine and also to bringing 10 bags of random stuff to work. Kristy is clearly very accommodating. I like to take a lot of my book photos at her house, mostly because it is way cleaner than mine. She is the queen of no clutter which is my ultimate goal in life but it probably will never happen.

Book Photography

Speaking of photos, one of my friends asked me the other day if I post my Instagram posts in “real-time” and I thought it was a great question. I tend to take 3-4 different photos at one time for posts I want to do that week. I post the actual text in real-time but many of my photos I have previously taken if that makes sense. I tend to post in the early morning and that is not a great time to take photos because it is pitch black outside!

Mom’s Night Out

In celebration of back to school, my friend Elisa and I went out the other evening. We had a drink at Shelburne Farms and then made our way to Peg & Ters for dinner. We ended up running into a bunch of other school moms so I think everyone was feeling festive this past week…and we were home by 8pm!

Regular Life…

While a drink by the lake is lovely, regular life looks a lot more like this. The kids are excited about book orders and the newest Dog Man book and we have been trying to teach both kids how to put away their own laundry, which is a work in progress…I did teach Parker about the gift of listening to a podcast while you do it, and he is a fan!

And Buzz…he loves life on a farm but boy does he get dirty! We have to spray him off with the hose and then give him a full bath more than we would like to admit, ugh!

Speaking of podcasts…

These are some series/episodes I have been loving…

22 Hours: An American Nightmare Series

The Short Stacks Episode 20: Kim Brooks the author of Small Animals

Sarah’s Book Shelves Episode 27: Live Fall 2019 Book Preview with Catherine from Gilmore Guide

10 Things To Tell You Episode 31: Best Books Lately with Alyssa Hertzig


I hope you have a wonderful rest of your Friday! <3

Permission to Feel by Marc Brackett | Celadon Books | Book Review

Unlocking the power of emotions

Permission to Feel by Marc Brackett, Ph.D.

Book Summary:

“Marc Brackett is a professor at Yale University’s Child Study Center and founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. In his 25 years as an emotion scientist, he has developed a remarkably effective plan to improve the lives of children and adults – a blueprint for understanding our emotions and using them wisely so that they help, rather than hinder, our success and well-being. The core of his approach is a legacy from his childhood, from an astute uncle who gave him permission to feel. He was the first adult who managed to see Marc, listen to him, and recognize the suffering, bullying, and abuse he’d endured. And that was the beginning of Marc’s awareness that what he was going through was temporary. He wasn’t alone, he wasn’t stuck on a timeline, and he wasn’t “wrong” to feel scared, isolated, and angry. Now, best of all, he could do something about it.

In the decades since, Marc has led large research teams and raised tens of millions of dollars to investigate the roots of emotional well-being. His prescription for healthy children (and their parents, teachers, and schools) is a system called RULER, a high-impact and fast-effect approach to understanding and mastering emotions that have already transformed the thousands of schools that have adopted it. RULER has been proven to reduce stress and burnout, improve school climate, and enhance academic achievement. This book is the culmination of Marc’s development of RULER and his way to share the strategies and skills with readers around the world. It is tested, and it works.

This book combines rigor, science, passion, and inspiration in equal parts. Too many children and adults are suffering; they are ashamed of their feelings and emotionally unskilled, but they don’t have to be. Marc Brackett’s life mission is to reverse this course, and this book can show you how.”

Publication Date:

September 3rd, 2019

Genre:

Self-Help/Parenting

My Rating:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

My Review:

Permission to Feel is a wonderful guide to recognizing our own emotions and those of others. Author Marc Brackett has spent years researching this important topic after his experiences as a child showed him how life-changing it was to have someone see, listen and truly recognize the things you have gone through as an individual.

While Brackett has spent decades studying this important topic, he presents the information in this book in an attainable and accessible manner for his readers. The first part of this book dives into how understanding emotions and determining their sources can help us influence our behaviors moving forward. When we understand where and why we are feeling a certain way, we can regulate our own emotions instead of them regulating us. The more we know the more we can find practical strategies for dealing with what we feel and why we be might feeling that way.

Brackett shares that emotions are a powerful source of information. He shares that when we become “emotion scientists” we can learn how to use our emotions wisely, even when they are challenging emotions. Learning how to use them instead of ignoring them can help our figure out our steps forward.

Both physical and emotional symptoms can help us identify our feeling so we can respond appropriately. Feelings are strengths we all have when we learn how to label and understand them. When we can better understand both ourselves and each other, more people are able to be their best most authentic selves. “Emotional skills are the key to unlocking the potential inside each one of us.” Highly recommend!!

Thank you to Celadon Books for an advanced copy in exchange for an honest review.

 

The Better Together Book Club | Charlotte, Vermont Public Library | A Motherhood Book Group

motherhood book club book selection

Connections Through Reading

One of the most wonderful parts of the online reading community is the connections I have made through it. I have met book lovers from all over the world as well as in our very small state of Vermont. While I love the reach online connections can allow you, there is something so special about connecting in person.

Better Together A Motherhood Book Club

Last spring I had the idea of starting a local book club centering around issues that are not only a big part of my life but so many of the women around me. Through the help and support of our local library, this dream has become a reality.  The Better Together Book Club is a book group focusing on motherhood and will be starting this fall!

motherhood book club

The Better Together Book Club

My friend, reader, fellow mom and elementary school Literacy Coach/Specialist Kelly and I are delighted to be co-facilitating this group together! We have been working hard behind the scenes and couldn’t be more excited to finally be making this public! Information went out in the Charlotte Library Newsletter yesterday so we thought it was the perfect time to share online as well.

Book selections will change monthly and will be a mix of fiction and nonfiction, including topics pertaining to parenting, marriage, mental health, self-care and the work/life “balance”. We will meet and discuss the book and topics relating to it as well as enjoying some tea and light snacks. We are also so honored that we already have some of the authors scheduled to come when we discuss their book!

Our First Book Club Selection

Our first book club selection will be To Have and To Hold. While I am lucky to have had many conversations with the people in my personal life, never have I read something that explains the complexities of motherhood and marriage in such a profound manner until I read this book. The highs and lows of parenthood, the immense love and also the intense quest to reclaim ourselves as women and partners when our lives will never be the same are so real and valid.

Author Molly Millwood will join the discussion on Thursday, October 10 @ 7:00pm.  Books are available for loan at the circulation desk. Registration is required by contacting Susanna or Margaret at the Charlotte Library at info@charlottepubliclibrary.org Once the spots are full a waitlist will be started. While this event is open to anyone in the area, priority will be given to Charlotte residents if a waitlist occurs.

Hardcopy & Ebook Copies

Charlotte librarians Susanna and Margaret have been so amazing at helping get this group up and running with us. Our October book, To Have and To Hold, is now available as a “Charlotte Only” book on Libby (which decreases the wait time significantly!). They also ordered 10 copies of To Have and To Hold which will be available at the library for pick up after Labor Day!

Book Club Ongoing Schedule & Communication

After our first event, The Better Together Book Club will continue to meet monthly at The Charlotte Library the second Wednesday of every month from 7:00-8:30pm.  Subsequent books will be available a month before each book club so everyone has time to read them. All announcements will be shared and in our private facebook group which you can be added to once you are registered.

If you live in the area, we would love to have you join us! If you don’t, we would love it if you would like to follow along. We plan on sharing updates about each book club on my blog which will include our discussion questions and highlights of our discussion. I will also announce the next book we will be discussing at that time.

I just talked with Susanna and we only have a few spots left so if you are interested, shoot them an email at info@charlottepubliclibrary.org to register! And please feel free to email or comment below with any questions. **Update, as of 8/30/19 there is a waitlist for this group**

 

 

Being at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst by Kim John Payne | Shambhala Publications {Book Review}

Being at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst by Kim John Payne

Being at Your Best When Your Kids Are at Their Worst

by Kim John Payne

Book Summary:

“A practical, meditative approach that can be used in the moment to help you stay calm and balanced when your child’s behavior is pushing you to your limit–by the popular author of Simplicity Parenting.

When children are at their most difficult and challenging situations arise, how can we react in a way that reflects our family values and expectations? Often, when children “push our buttons,” we find ourselves reacting in ways that are far from our principles, often further inflaming a situation.
When our children are at their worst, they need us to be at our best—or as close to it as we can be. Educator and family counselor Kim John Payne, author of Simplicity Parenting, offers techniques that simply and directly shift these damaging patterns in communication and parental behavior. These grounded and practical strategies will help you:
• Slow down the interaction
• Be more in control of your reactions
• Open up a much wider range of helpful responses
• Sense what your child’s deeper needs are even though they are misbehaving
• Respond in a way that gives your child a feeling of being heard and still puts a boundary in place

Payne’s meditative approach can be done anywhere, anytime; it lifts you out of old, unwanted patterns of action-reaction and prepares you so that the voice you speak with is closer to the parent you want to be. His concrete and simple techniques can help you, and your children, be at your best, even in the most challenging of times.”

Publication Date:

September 3rd, 2019

Genre:

Parenting/Self-Help

My Rating:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫⁣

My Review:

This title totally grabbed my attention and then I saw it was by the same author as Simplicity Parenting and I was sold. One of the most challenging parts of parenting is staying even-keeled and compassionate when the noise and chaos level is high, which is often…Our kids are wonderful and parenting is also the hardest thing I have ever done.

My husband and I often talk about the daily struggles being the hardest part of this stage of life. It can feel like a rollercoaster ride of emotions and there is this constant that can really push you to the limit. In addition to the needs of our children, we have the obligations of work, home and the daily expectations of just being an adult. It can be hard to find a balance between all of these and have a calm response when life is anything but that.

Kim John Payne writes in an approachable and relatable manner which makes this writing accessible. He then dives right into advice and tools about how to break the “action-reaction” response with your children. This sounds like it would be simple, but when you are in the thick of it it can be so hard. He then moves into a 4 step
“compassion response” that adults can use to respectfully and effectively communicate with children, especially when they are in crisis.

I love how he talks about the why and also the how of this approach. The idea of staying self-regulated when a child (or any person for that matter) is easy to conceptualize but often hard to execute “at the moment”. This book is a practical guide for any parent or person that works with children. I found it helpful AND encouraging which is the best combination when it comes to “self-help” parenting books.

Thank you to Shambhala Publications for an advanced copy. All opinions are my own.

After The End by Clare Mackintosh | Putnam | Book Review

book review at Gen The Bookworm

Book Summary:

“Max and Pip are the strongest couple you know. They’re best friends, lovers—unshakable. But then their son gets sick and the doctors put the question of his survival into their hands. For the first time, Max and Pip can’t agree. They each want a different future for their son. 
 
What if they could have both?
 
A gripping and propulsive exploration of love, marriage, parenthood, and the road not taken, After the End brings one unforgettable family from unimaginable loss to a surprising, satisfying, and redemptive ending and the life they are fated to find. With the emotional power of Jodi Picoult’s My Sister’s Keeper, Mackintosh helps us to see that sometimes the end is just another beginning.”

Publication Date:

June 25, 2019

Genre:

Family Saga Fiction

My Rating:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

My Review:

After The End by Clare Mackintosh was a little under the radar for me until I started seeing raving reviews pop up on Instagram. My book list is a mile high this time of year but I am also easily persuaded which is why I never do too much planning with my monthly reading goals…I like to read by how I am feeling and also by what grabs my attention. After seeing this book mentioned a few times by some of my favorite Bookstagrammers, I knew I needed to read it.

I have read Clare Mackintosh’s writing in the past, and this work of fiction was a departure from her “thriller” style I was used to…I love when authors can mix it up, and Mackintosh totally succeeded.

After The End is a beautiful and absolutely heart-wrenching book to read. Told in alternating points of view, a husband and wife are faced with one of the most challenging choices you could make as parents, and they don’t have the same opinion. This book detailed the highs and lows of marriage and parenthood and what it means to make the “right” choice for your child.

Whether you are a parent or not, this topic is heavy. As a parent of young children myself, this was especially devastating and I could relate to both perspectives which I think was her very intention. I love books that make you feel and also that make you think and she nailed this.

Mackintosh shares in her own author’s note how this topic connected to the loss of her own son which made this writing even more powerful. Her ability to write with such vivid and gut-wrenching details came partly from the loss she and her husband faced a decade ago. Mackintosh writes so poignantly and the characters are so raw and real that this book reads partly like non-fiction, which in some ways, it is. Highly recommend.

 

Coffee Talk | Currently Loving…Summer Fruit, Pool Life, Shellac Nails, Library Book Sales & Turning Nine!

Book Blog

Checking-in:

Hello and happy Thursday. How is your week going? As many wonderful things that have happened during the last few weeks, it has also had its fair share of challenges and sadness. I often struggle with how to balance sharing a lot of my life on a public platform while also bearing in mind that we all have harder realities of everyday life that are more private.

It is a hectic time in general with work and family life and I am thankful to have so many great support systems in place that really make such a big difference with the harder parts of life. Alright, I think that was important to say, as I tend to share some of our “highlight reel” in photos on these Currently Loving posts.

So here is a little of what we have been up to…

Swimming Life

Our family wrapped up the swim meet season last week and our practices will be winding down soon too. It has been such a wonderful part of our summer. Having something that is daily works really well for us because it gets us out of the house by a certain time each day and gives us some structure that can be really hard to find this time of year.

Our boys made so much progress this summer. The swim team has been a great reminder and conversation starter about doing our best and being kind and supportive to both our teammates, competitors and ourselves. I will miss our swimming community so much but there is always next year!

Daily swimming means we are at the pool all the time. It isn’t a bad place to be and with great wifi, it makes it a great place to catch up on work. The boys practice at the same time now which if you have ever had kids on different team schedules you know what is a gift this is!

Berries galore

We are lucky to live near so many wonderful family farms and that means this time of year we are picking all the berries. We were excited to drive down the road to opening day at Adam’s Berry Farm and the berries were incredible! We didn’t last too long because it was during our brief summer heatwave so we will be back!

Library Book Sale

After berry picking, we headed to the annual town library book sale! I love supporting the library(and it’s upcoming renovation!) stocking up on past favorites and also grabbing some to share with friends! 💓

Between the kids and me we brought three totes bags and it wasn’t enough! Next year we need a duffle bag. 🤣 ⁣
library book sale kids books

We arrived early and waited in line for about 10 minutes and it was worth sweating through our clothes. We picked up so many picture books including a bunch of golden books. Flynn also added some super informative books to our collection…first words in Italian and a guide to venomous animals, ha!

Lake Life on a Hot Summer Day…

We headed out on the boat and it was the best way to cool down. Although with the intense heat it also means there can be fast approaching summer storms. This one snuck in and surprised us and while it was very interesting to see from the boat, we were eager to get back to dry land.

Shellac Nails Home Removal

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You know I love to discuss the random and obscure and I thought it was a great time to share about my shellac nails experience. I almost never paint my nails but I do always have shellac on my toenails. I get a shellac pedicure every 4-5 weeks and it is a great and long-lasting way to keep them looking nice when I am quite rough on regular nail polish.

For the wedding a couple of weeks ago, I wanted to get my nails done and so I ended up getting a shellac manicure two days before the wedding. It lasted a good 10 days or so before they started to look a little rough and I needed to get it off ASAP. They were also starting to get longer which I don’t like the feeling of…I do a lot of computer work and it was driving me crazy! Anyway, I knew I could go in and have it removed but it really wasn’t something I could easily fit into our schedule.

So off I went to the pharmacy… I grabbed a container of full-on acetone and some cotton balls.  At first, I tried the wrapping method with soaked cotton balls and tin foil, similar to the way they remove it at the nail salon. Then I changed tactics and did the soaking method on my other hand…as suggested by the Pioneer Woman of all people…

I found that the soaking method worked better and because I don’t have a lot of nail tools, I used the end of a measuring spoon to have push off the remaining polish which was quite effective…I am nothing if not resourceful, ha!

So I am not saying this is the most non-toxic method, but I think if you are going the shellac route you know that isn’t either…I was very pleased with how easy it was and I am super happy to have short and naked nails once again! I didn’t find that it damaged them in any way and I would definitely do shellac again for a special event, I just don’t have the patience to keep up with something like that in my everyday life.

Creemees & AC

It’s totally normal to take a photo to send to your kids when you have a creemee without them right?! Don’t worry, they were off having a special dinner and having ice cream after but we couldn’t resist. Buzz spent a lot of time indoors during the heatwave because it is just so hard to keep dogs cool. We are thankful to have AC and lots of ceiling fans.

Turning Nine!

Someone in our family turned NINE! For some reason, this number is hitting me hard. Maybe it is because it is halfway to 18 or maybe it is just because I can remember when I was nine so vividly…I know he is still so young but he really is growing up so quickly.

The past nine years have been filled with the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Parenting is such a gift and it is also the hardest thing I have ever done. I am so grateful to have a child that is kind, understanding and helps us learn and grow every day. 

And when you turn nine you have cinnamon rolls for breakfast and sushi and hibachi for dinner…seems pretty perfect to me!

Alright, that is all for now. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your week. <3

All The Rage: Mothers, Fathers and the Myth of Equal Partnership by Darcy Lockman | Harper | Book Review

All The Rage: Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership

All The Rage by Darcy Lockman

Book Summary:

Journalist-turned-psychologist Darcy Lockman offers a clear-eyed look at the most pernicious problem facing modern parents—how progressive relationships become traditional ones when children are introduced into the household.

In an era of seemingly unprecedented feminist activism, enlightenment, and change, data shows that one area of gender inequality stubbornly persists: the disproportionate amount of parental work that falls to women, no matter their background, class, or professional status. All the Rage investigates the cause of this pervasive inequity to answer why, in households where both parents work full-time and agree that tasks should be equally shared, mothers’ household management, mental labor, and childcare contributions still outweigh fathers’. 

How, in a culture that pays lip service to women’s equality and lauds the benefits of father involvement—benefits that extend far beyond the well-being of the kids themselves—can a commitment to fairness in marriage melt away upon the arrival of children?

Counting on male partners who will share the burden, women today have been left with what political scientists call unfulfilled, rising expectations. Historically these unmet expectations lie at the heart of revolutions, insurgencies, and civil unrest. If so many couples are living this way, and so many women are angered or just exhausted by it, why do we remain so stuck? Where is our revolution, our insurgency, our civil unrest?

Darcy Lockman drills deep to find answers, exploring how the feminist promise of true domestic partnership almost never, in fact, comes to pass. Starting with her own marriage as a ground zero case study, she moves outward, chronicling the experiences of a diverse cross-section of women raising children with men; visiting new mothers’ groups and pioneering co-parenting specialists; and interviewing experts across academic fields, from gender studies professors and anthropologists to neuroscientists and primatologists. Lockman identifies three tenets that have upheld the cultural gender division of labor and peels back the ways in which both men and women unintentionally perpetuate old norms.

If we can all agree that equal pay for equal work should be a given, can the same apply to unpaid work? Can justice finally come home?

Publication Date:

May 5th, 2019

My Rating:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⁣

My Review:

All The Rage by Darcy Lockman

All The Rage

I listened to All The Rage on Audible and wow, what a powerful read! Darcy Lockman shares a well researched and relatable look at social expectations, male privilege, and sexism when it comes to parenting in the 21st century. Lockman uses studies, research, interviews with parents, and her own personal experiences which results in a well balanced and deeply impactful look at the gender inequity that working mothers still face today and the mental load women face as mothers.

Who Should Read This?

Whether you are a parent or thinking about becoming one someday, this book is so insightful and thought-provoking. I appreciated Lockman’s personal experiences as they related to many issues we faced in our own experiences as partners and parents. While many people think “this won’t happen to me” a large percentage of family’s fall into the expectations that have become ingrained in our society.

Lockman shares…

“In the language of family studies, women and men do not develop the same ‘parental consciousness’ when they transition into mother- and fatherhood; they continue on separate and unequal paths of knowing or not knowing as their children change and grow. Parental consciousness is the awareness of the needs of children accompanied by the steady process of thinking about those needs. Women have come to call it the mental load, and in those relatively egalitarian households where men share daycare pickup and put away clean laundry, it’s the aspect of childrearing most likely…to ‘stimulate marital tension between mothers and fathers”

Reactions to All The Rage:

I have loved reading the reviews for this book on Goodreads and they vary greatly. Many shared that this book was depressing, filled with anger, bitterness and/or a dig at men. I did find this book to be hard to listen to at times, but mostly because I wish I had been able to read this before I became a parent! I think anything that makes you feel strongly is wonderful because it gets you thinking.

I learned a lot about why we are the way we are and so much of it has been entrenched in our society and family dynamics for centuries even as women’s roles have changed and evolved so much over time.  It doesn’t matter how much you think “this won’t happen to us!” it is very easy to fall into being the “default” parent once parenthood hits you like a ton of bricks.

I think it is important to state that this doesn’t mean your partner is a terrible person or sits around doing nothing. The emotional labor of motherhood is hard to explain but it is real and many women feel like they are just drowning in it. The invisible mental load of motherhood is often the hardest and because it is hard to “see” it is also the hardest to change.

What We Have Learned So Far…

One of the biggest learning lessons my husband and I have (slowly) figured out during our 9 years of parenting together is that talking about something before it happens is always the way to go. Talking early and talking often is key and allows us to discuss our hopes and expectations before the resentment and disappointment build up because it inevitably will.

When our first son arrived in 2019 we quickly fell into the assumed roles of parenthood with little to no discussion about what that might look or feel like. 9 years later we have worked hard to establish better equity and partnership in our home but deeply ingrained norms are hard to change and the pressures come from outside of the home as well. This is a continued work in progress as our family grows and changes over time. We definitely have it all figured out but we work hard on it every day.

My Takeaway…

I highly recommend this book and would really recommend it for people who are hoping to have a family someday. There is so much power when we have the ability to reflect and make choices proactively. While Lockman didn’t have all the answers, she gives many tools for us to reflect on what we can change and do in our own lives to help with parity and equity in parenthood.

 

 

June 2019 Book Recap & Ratings | Monthly Book Wrap-Up

June 2019 Book Wrap-Up

monthly book wrap-up

The Month of June

Wow, did June fly by for anyone else? It is always a funny month because half of it is the last two weeks of school and the other two are the first two weeks of summer break. It is a transition time for everyone in our family and the end of some things and the beginning of others which makes it very bittersweet.

While it seems like it flew by, it is also amazing to think of all the things that we did during the last 4 weeks..baseball season and regular school days feel like they were months ago!

Reading Recap

I had a lot of reading favorites this past month, and it was also a heavier non-fiction month. My actual reading is always a bit slower this time of year but my books I listen to on audio increase.

Moving into Audiobook Season

This time of the year I spend a lot of my work time editing because it is the most wedding/photo session time of the year. This will continue into November when photo season quiets down for the winter months. I have found that audiobooks make a great work companion during editing time.

My type of work requires a lot of creative energy but is something I can easily do while listening to something which is great for a podcast and audiobook fan! I prefer to listen to non-fiction books on audio and this past month I listened to Burnout, The Moment of Lift and All The Rage. I would highly recommend all of them!

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Summer of ’69 by Elin Hilderbrand

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

You can read my full review of Summer of ’69 HERE.

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Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking The Stress Cycle

by Emily & Amelia Nagoski

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⁣

You can read my full review of Burnout HERE.

The Moment of Lift

The Moment of Lift by Melinda Gates

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

*Full review coming soon.

All The Rage

All The Rage by Darcy Lockman

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

*Full review coming soon.

Claire Gibson

Beyond The Point by Claire Gibson

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

*Full Review Coming Soon.

Three Women

Three Women by Lisa Taddeo

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

You can read my full review of Three Women HERE.

Simple Happy Praenting by Denaye Barahona

Simple Happy Parenting by Denaye Barahona

My Rating:⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⁣

You can read my full review of Simple Happy Parenting HERE.

thriller

Dear Wife by Kimberly Belle

My Rating:⭐️⭐️⭐️

You can see my full review of Dear Wife HERE.

thriller book

I’ll Never Tell by Catherine McKenzie

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

You can read my full review of I’ll Never Tell HERE.

The Lemonade Life

The Lemonade Life by Zack Friedman

My Rating:⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

You can read my full review of The Lemonade Life HERE.


How was your month of reading? Did you have any favorites? Are there any that were you disappointed by? I would love to hear! <3