Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab
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Continue reading “Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab | TarcherPerigee {Book Review}”
Tag: personal development
The Handbook for Bad Days by Eveline Helmink | Tiller Press {Book Review}
{Thank you to Tiller Press for my gifted copy in exchange for my honest review}
The Handbook for Bad Days by Eveline Helmink
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Continue reading “The Handbook for Bad Days by Eveline Helmink | Tiller Press {Book Review}”
You Are Awesome by Neil Pasricha |Gallery Books {Book Review & Self-Help Book Discussion}
You Are Awesome by Neil Pasricha
Book Summary:
From Neil Pasricha—New York Times, million-copy bestselling author of The Book of Awesome series and The Happiness Equation, thought leader for the next generation, and one of the most popular TED speakers in the world—comes a revelatory and inspiring book that will change the way we view failure and help us build resilience.
We are lucky. For most of us, famine, plague, economic depression, and other life-threatening catastrophes are the stuff of history books. We’re living in an era with the highest-ever rates of longevity, education, and wealth. Cars drive us home as our phones entertain us before we arrive to food delivered to the front door. We have it all!
But there’s just one side effect. We no longer have the tools to handle failure…or even perceived failure. When we fall, we lie on the sidewalk crying. When we spill, we splatter. When we crack, we shatter.
We are turning into an army of porcelain dolls.
A rude email from the boss means calling in sick. Only two likes on our post means we don’t have friends. Cell phones show us we’re never good enough. Yesterday’s butterflies are tomorrow’s panic attacks. Record numbers of students have clinical anxiety. And what about depression, loneliness, and suicide?
All rising!
What do we desperately need to learn?
RESILIENCE. And we need to learn it fast.
Read You Are Awesome to learn:
• The single word that keeps your options open after failure
• What every commencement speech gets wrong
• 3 ways to dramatically accelerate your ability to learn and adapt
• The 2-minute morning practice that helps eliminate worry
• Why you need an Untouchable Day (and how to get one)
• and much, much more…
Because the truth is, you really are awesome.
Publication Date:
November 5th, 2019
Genre:
Self-Help & Personal Growth
My Rating:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫
My Review:
It’s no secret that I am a huge fan of personal development and self-help books. I think they can sometimes get a little misunderstood and there are books in that genre that are totally cringe-worthy but there are also some books that have changed my life.
1. The Gifts of Imperfection
2. I Thought It Was Just Me
3. Daring Greatly
These three books by Brene Brown totally changed my perspective in so many ways. I am not a re-reader of books but I have reread (and re-listened) to these so many times.
1. You Are a Badass
2. You are a Badass at Making Money
3. You Are a Badass Every Day
Sometimes just smaller tidbits from the books stick with me, like in Jen Sincero’s You Are a Badass series.
“The only failure is quitting. Everything else is just gathering information.”
“We use words to communicate, and when you communicate optimism, inspiration and general badassery, you inspire other people and draw those who can help you toward you. Choosing your words wisely is one of the easiest and most powerful steps in changing your reality.”
“Once you start taking action you’ll be able to discover more things you like, more things you don’t like, and a clearer picture of what you desire to do will begin to form. Taking action leads to answers, mulling ideas around in your head forever leads to indecision and grouchiness.”
-Jen Sincero
You Are Awesome
I was immediately drawn into You Are Awesome because of how relatable the writing is. Neil Pasricha is charismatic and resilient and the writing is conversational like you are talking with a good friend.
Everyone can relate to failure but how we react to it can change our paths entirely and keep us moving forward. Every” misstep” is a chance to assess, learn and then move up and onward. I love the balance of personal stories, accessible writing, and strategies that are approachable for everyone.
Pasricha writes with compassion and proactivity and reminds us that we are all works in progress. Sometimes self-help books can help you feel heard but not really have a plan, or make you feel like you are being talked down to and make you just feel worse. You Are Awesome contains straightforward steps that make you feel less alone but also help you move FORWARD.
Resilience & Positivity
Resilence is a skill and often the people that are most resilient aren’t ones that have had the easiest path in life but are the ones that use those bumps in the road to learn and grow. Positively doesn’t mean you don’t have struggles, it means using perspective to take what you can from them and continue on.
I loved this book so much and I know it is one that I will refer back to again and again.
Thank you to Gallery Books for an advanced copy. All opinions are my own.
Disclosure: Some of the links above are affiliate links. This means if you click through and make a purchase, it helps support this blog at no cost to you. Thank you!
The Transformation by James S. Gordon, MD |HarperOne {Book Review}
The Transformation by James Gordon
Book Summary:
A world-recognized authority and acclaimed mind-body medicine pioneer presents the first evidence-based program to reverse the psychological and biological damage caused by trauma.
In his role as the founder and director of The Center for Mind-Body Medicine (CMBM), the worlds largest and most effective program for healing population-wide trauma, Harvard-trained psychiatrist James Gordon has taught a curriculum that has alleviated trauma to populations as diverse as refugees and survivors of war in Bosnia, Kosovo, Israel, Gaza, and Syria, as well as Native Americans on the Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota, New York City firefighters and their families, and members of the U. S. military. Dr. Gordon and his team have also used their work to help middle-class professionals, stay-at-home mothers, inner-city children of color, White House officials, medical students, and people struggling with severe emotional and physical illnesses.
The Transformation represents the culmination of Dr. Gordon’s fifty years as a mind-body medicine pioneer and an advocate of integrative approaches to overcoming psychological trauma and stress. Offering inspirational stories, eye-opening research, and innovative prescriptive support, The Transformation makes accessible for the first time the methods that Dr. Gordon—with the help of his faculty of 160, and 6,000 trained clinicians, educators, and community leaders—has developed and used to relieve the suffering of hundreds of thousands of adults and children around the world.
Publication Date:
September 10th, 2019
Genre:
Self-Help, Healing, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Book Rating:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫
My Review:
When I was offered a copy of The Transformation in exchange for an honest review, I jumped at the chance. Trauma is often misunderstood and not only does Dr. Gordon give a wonderful explanation about what it can look like, but he also shares how we can indeed heal from it.
This book is readable while also being informative. Gordon shares a wonderful balance of stories, research, and techniques which as the reader can help you feel heard while also feeling like a proactive step in your own healing. His writing is also very accessible as someone who does not work in the medical field.
Gordon starts off by discussing the misconceptions of psychological trauma. He has a wonderful way of explaining that while it may look very different for people, it is something that can or will affect almost everyone in some capacity throughout one’s life. While this may sound dire, it can also help someone feel less alone.
“Trauma comes to all of us, and its consequences can be terrible. That’s the truth and the bad news. The good news is that all of us can use tools of self-awareness and self-care to heal our trauma and, indeed, to become healthier and more whole than we’ve ever been. If we accept the pain that trauma inflicts, it can open our minds and bodies to healing change-Our broken hearts can be open with tender consideration and new love for others, as well as ourselves.” -James Gordon, MD
Instead of subduing our fears, anger, and sadness, which can cause us to feel stuck, Gordon teaches us that there are alternatives. These new processes allow us to express emotions, become aware and deal with these emotions and also learn from them. When we learn how to use this emotion cycle, it can become a way for us to not only deal with past trauma but navigate it in the future.
Gordon incorporates many things like soft belly breathing, movement(shaking and dancing), connecting with nature and diet into his practices and it was fascinating how powerful these tools can be.
As someone who successfully uses medication for anxiety, I also appreciated that while Gordon emphasizes the importance of these more natural coping mechanisms, he isn’t against medication which can often be a very important part of someone’s healing and ongoing wellbeing. His approach is well rounded and I appreciated his balance between both traditional and more holistic practices.
I loved learning more about this thoughtful and compassionate approach towards something that has affected not only my life but many people around me and I highly recommend this.
Thank you to Dr. Gordon and FSB Associates for an advanced copy of this book. All opinions are my own.
Limitless Mind by Jo Boaler | HarperCollins | Book Review
Limitless Mind by Jo Boaler
Book Summary:
“When we learn, we change what we believe and how we interact with the world. This changes who we are as people and what we can achieve.
Many people grow up being told they are ‘not a maths person’ or perhaps ‘not smart’. They come to believe their potential is limited.
Now, however, the latest science has revealed that our identities are constantly in flux; when we learn new things, we can change our identities, increase our potential and broaden our capacity to receive new information.
Drawing from the latest research, Professor Boaler followed thousands of school students, studied their learning practices and examined the most effective ways to transform pupils from low to high achievers. Throughout her study, Boaler has collaborated with Stanford University neuroscience experts, harnessing their expertise to reinforce her advanced understanding of learning and educational development.
In Limitless Mind, Boaler presents original groundbreaking research that proves that limiting beliefs really do hold us back from fulfilling our potential and that with a few careful life hacks we can transform our potential for good.”
Publication Date:
September 3rd, 2019
Genre:
Self-Help & Personal Growth
My Rating:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
My Review:
Limitless Mind by Jo Boaler presents the idea that brains are not fixed from birth. Boaler shares research and studies that back up this message as well as how this can help us move from the fixed brain mindset to the brain growth mindset as learners.
Jo Boaler Ph.D.
Jo Boaler is a professor at Stanford and backs up her book with a plethora of research. She shares this information in an accessible manner that is readable for someone who is not an academic in her fields of work. She breaks down her message into accessible chapters that help us better understand this newer research.
When We Learn We Develop New Pathways In Our Brains…
The crux of her book is the idea that when we learn and push ourselves, we develop new pathways in our brains. We are not born with brains that are made to be good (or not) at certain subjects but we actually develop them, and this ability never stops. Our brains are constantly growing and this happens by stepping outside our comfort zones.
Pushing Through Struggles
We can do this by pushing ourselves in areas that are challenging and pushing through struggles and even mistakes. As we do this, the pathways in our brains are delicate but the more deeply we use these pathways the stronger they become. This message is the push for why struggle and mistakes are actually beneficial and allow our brains to continue to grow.
When we face challenging situations, rather than fear causing us to turn around, forge ahead, knowing these are the situations that help brain growth. Mistakes are a part of our everyday lives but many of us have grown up to think of mistakes as things are “bad” and something we should try and avoid.
Mistakes Are A Good Thing!
Boaler encourages mistakes and strongly feels that facing obstacles is how we can learn and thrive. When we struggle, our brains are more active and are working harder than when we are just in” autopilot” mode. When we are able to change our perspective on failure, we are able to live a more limitless life and continue on the path to improve and grow.
Life gives us endless moments where we can learn, grow and connect. Mistakes can help us be determined, proactive and move forward. Boaler shares that we are often unmotivated in areas where at one time someone or something gave us the idea that we couldn’t be successful. I found this message to be so motivating and inspiring.
Lifelong Learning & Growing
As someone who has spent much of my academic life feeling like I wasn’t “good” at certain subjects, this book is such a wonderful reminder that life long learning and growing can not only help us live fuller lives but the things we can master are, indeed, limitless.
Thank you to NetGalley, HarperCollins and Jo Boaler for an advanced copy to review. All opinions are my own.
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Amelia & Emily Nagoski | Book Review
Burnout by Emily & Amelia Nagoski
Book Summary:
“This groundbreaking book explains why women experience burnout differently than men—and provides a simple, science-based plan to help women minimize stress, manage emotions, and live a more joyful life.
Burnout. Many women in America have experienced it. What’s expected of women and what it’s really like to be a woman in today’s world are two very different things—and women exhaust themselves trying to close the gap between them. How can you “love your body” when every magazine cover has ten diet tips for becoming “your best self”? How do you “lean in” at work when you’re already operating at 110 percent and aren’t recognized for it? How can you live happily and healthily in a sexist world that is constantly telling you you’re too fat, too needy, too noisy, and too selfish?
Sisters Emily Nagoski, PhD, and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, are here to help end the cycle of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Instead of asking us to ignore the very real obstacles and societal pressures that stand between women and well-being, they explain with compassion and optimism what we’re up against—and show us how to fight back. In these pages you’ll learn
• what you can do to complete the biological stress cycle—and return your body to a state of relaxation
• how to manage the “monitor” in your brain that regulates the emotion of frustration
• how the Bikini Industrial Complex makes it difficult for women to love their bodies—and how to defend yourself against it
• why rest, human connection, and befriending your inner critic are keys to recovering and preventing burnout
With the help of eye-opening science, prescriptive advice, and helpful worksheets and exercises, all women will find something transformative in these pages—and will be empowered to create positive change. Emily and Amelia aren’t here to preach the broad platitudes of expensive self-care or insist that we strive for the impossible goal of “having it all.” Instead, they tell us that we are enough, just as we are—and that wellness, true wellness, is within our reach.”
My Rating:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
My Review:
I learned about Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle on the 10 Things To Tell You Podcast episode about anxiety. I listened to this book on audio and while I think their intentions were good, I think listeners are either going to love their narration style, or not….for me, I was somewhere in the middle.
I did think the information they shared was fabulous and the explanation of completing the actual stress cycle was brilliant. Honestly, I had never thought about it in that way before and it makes SO much sense. That section alone made this book super helpful to me and I have been recommending it to so many friends.
They also included some great practical advice about choices we CAN make when we can’t always control outside stress in our lives. While it may not have been earth-shattering information, it was a great reminder of the things that we have control over in our own lives. Suggestions like prioritizing sleep, connecting with others, and showing yourself compassion are such powerful and attainable things we can do right away to help our own responses to external stressors.
There is a big emphasis on “the patriarchy” in this book. I found that it was not the most powerful part for me as a reader but it certainly was beneficial in some ways. I think this book would have been strong enough without that section because the stress cycle parts were so hugely beneficial to me. All that said, there certainly is validity in how patriarchy affects women’s daily stress.
If you are looking for a book either as a refresher on stress management or if you are feeling like you need some new tools for handling daily stressors, I highly recommend checking this one out.
The Lemonade Life by Zack Friedman | HarperCollins Leadership | Book Review
The Lemonade Life by Zack Friedman
Book Summary:
“The secret to an extraordinary life starts with five simple changes that anyone can make.
No matter who you are, where you come from, what you do for a living, or how much money you have, everyone has a shot at greatness.
Zack Friedman has inspired millions with his powerful insights, including more than fourteen million who have read his advice in Forbes.
In his groundbreaking new book, The Lemonade Life, Friedman starts with a fundamental question: What drives success? It’s not only hard work, talent, and skill. The most successful people have one thing in common, the power to flip five internal “switches.” We all have these five switches, and when activated, they are the secret to fuel success, create happiness, and conquer anything.
With powerful stories and actionable lessons, this book will profoundly change the way you live, lead, and work. Your path to greatness starts with a simple choice. Every day, you’re choosing to live one of two lives: the Lemon Life or the Lemonade Life. Which life will you lead?”
Publication Date:
August 6th, 2019
Genre:
Motivational Self-Help & personal development
My Rating:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
My Review:
The Lemonade Life was the perfect dose of inspiration while also being very relatable. Friedman shares advice and examples of how to live life on your own terms by being more aware of the control we have over our thoughts and emotions. This is what he calls “The Lemonade Life”.
Taking control helps give you the ability to have more positive changes in your own life. You will feel like you are in the driver’s seat instead of everyone and everything around you. While we can’t always control what happens to us, we can control how we respond and move forward.
Friedman introduces the five internal “switches” we can all introduce into our own lives that can help get us to this place. These switches have to do with your perspective, risk, independence, self-awareness, and motion to work and create the life you want. When these switches all work together, you will see your life through a new lens which helps you live The Lemonade Life.
After introducing the 5 switches, he talks about how Lemon Lifers would look at different circumstances and then how a Lemonade Lifer would see and utilize the same situation. Mindset and who you surround yourself everyday are such huge factors in not only who you are a person but who you become. I thought Friedman did an excellent job at presenting how risk and mistakes can help us grow and this was such an inspiring part of the book for me.
I got so much out of this book and I know it is one I will refer back to again and again. While not every section was totally applicable to my own life, there was something I was able to get out of each of them. I loved the idea that The Lemonade Life isn’t a destination but a way of life. When we know ourselves, use the tools we have and work towards our own personal goals, we have the ability to live full and happy lives right where we are and as we grow.
Thank you to NetGalley and HarperCollins Leadership for an advanced copy of this book.
Emotional Advantage: Embracing All Your Feelings to Create a Life You Love | St. Martin’s Press | Book Review
Emotional Advantage by Randy Taran
Summary:
“In recent years, there has been an overwhelming interest in the science of happiness and positive psychology, and many books on the subject. There is a good reason for this: it is a core, universal human drive. And while happiness has opened the door for many to move forward, there is a burgeoning curiosity about the full range of human emotions, all of which factor into the human experience. What do we do when life does not go as planned?
Neuroscience reveals that to understand and utilize any emotion, we need to “name it to tame it.” It turns out that even negative emotions have something to offer if we know how to learn from them. Have you ever woken up in a fog of feelings and felt directionless? Or maybe it was hard to pinpoint exactly what you were feeling, but it wasn’t where you wanted to be? What if we could actually use our feelings as a pathway to guide us back to our inner compass? What if, like alchemists, we had the tools to transform our emotions to take charge of creating our very best life? What if we could comprehend how even the most troublesome emotions are sending messages to alert, protect, and fuel us forward?
Emotional Advantage is that guide. It will show us how a new perspective on fear can move us to courage, how guilt can clarify our values, and how anger can help us create healthy boundaries.”
My Rating:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
My Review:
Emotional Advantage is an in-depth look at how feelings, both positive and negative, can help us move forward to be our best possible selves. Many people have deeply challenging life situations that can, at times, feel like huge hurdles or stumbling blocks. This book offers the reader valuable and researched information about how even these tough times can offer us a chance at learning and growing from them.
Negative experiences can feel debilitating and Taran’s advice is wonderful at sharing how much power we can have over our emotions and reactions. How we respond to even to the most challenging situations can let them guide us to be a more informed and empowered person.
As we learn and grow from situations and interactions, we are able to be more proactive in the future, set better boundaries and have the courage to be our best selves. I learned so much from this book and I know I will refer back to it again and again.
Thank you to NetGalley and St. Martin’s Press for a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Juliet’s School of Possibilities | Laura Vanderkam | Penguin Group Portfolio| Book Review
Juliet’s School of Possibilities by Laura Vanderkam
Book Summary:
“A charming, life-changing fable that will help you rethink your whole approach to time, priorities, and possibilities.
Riley Jenkins is in trouble. An ambitious, hardworking consultant in her late twenties, she’s used to a lifetime of nearly perfect evaluations – until she gets a terrible performance review from her boss. How is that possible when Riley does everything her clients want – including answering emails 24/7 – faster than they expect it?
That’s precisely the problem: she’s spread too thin. Despite her insane hours and attention to detail, Riley can’t produce the thoughtful work her clients expect. Now she’s been given thirty days to close a major deal, or she’s out. Meanwhile, her personal life is also on the edge of disaster, with her boyfriend and close friends losing patience with her chronic unavailability.
The last thing Riley wants, at a stressful time like this, is to attend a women’s leadership retreat with some of her colleagues. But she can’t get out of her commitment: a weekend in New Jersey at some silly-sounding place called Juliet’s School of Possibilities.
Yet before long, Riley is surprised to find herself intrigued by Juliet, the lifestyle maven who hosts the conference. How does a single mother of two, run a successful business while acting as if she has all the time in the world? The answer may lie in one of Juliet’s Zen-like comments: “Expectations are infinite. Time is finite. You are always choosing. Choose well.”
By the end of this story, you’ll join Riley in rethinking the balance between your present and your future, between the things you have to do and the things you want to do. Like Riley, you can free yourself from feeling overwhelmed and pursue your highest possibilities.”
Publication Date:
March 12th, 2019
Genre:
Time Management, Self-Help & Personal Growth
My Rating:
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
My Review:
I love Vanderkam’s nonfiction books about time management and this is her first novella. In Juliet’s School of Possibilities, Vanderkam incorporates her knowledge and expertise into a short fable about a woman named Riley who is “spread too thin”. I wasn’t sure how this would work but I was definitely intrigued and it ended up being a small book that packed a big punch.
In a society where “busy” reigns supreme, Vanderkam’s books are a wonderful reminder about how we get to choose how we spend our time and energy and this book is such a fun spin-off. We meet Juliet who shares profound wisdom and helps Riley rethink this balance.
“I don’t have time’ means ‘It’s not a priority.’ We always have time for what matters to us.”
This book is a quick read but it one that I think back to all the time. I love the idea that we are in control of our time and we choose what we prioritize and how we react to the chaos life can sometimes throw at us. When I am having one of those days where I feel I am feeling rushed and stressed, I think back to Juliet and how she would react.
“Expectations are infinite. Time is finite. You are always choosing. Choose well.”
Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Group Portfolio for an advanced copy. All opinions are my own.
Wednesday Randomness | Reflections & Mantras of 2018
I am not a big New Year goal setter or resolution maker but I am big into reflecting on things. I think we can learn so much from what we go through and often the hardest situations can teach us the biggest and best lessons.
This year was a hard one and one that pushed me in ways I never expected. Mantras are a newer thing for me but something that have helped me so much in times where there was a lot of sadness and unknown. I struggle in times of transition and times when things are out of my control. Having mantra has helped ground me and have been great reminders when my worries and thoughts feel really heavy. I love Pinterest for inspiration for this stuff and that is where I found all of these…
Some things I have learned in 2018…
I would rather make mistakes than not put myself out there at all. I am not a perfectionist but I certainly struggle with worrying about what other people think of me and what I am doing. Letting go of this is a work in progress but staying true to myself and knowing that that is enough has been very powerful. When you make mistakes it means you are out there doing something. Some of my biggest “failures” and challenges have lead me to some of the most wonderful things in my life.
I have tried to let go of negativity. Putting my energy towards the people and things that are positive has helped create more of that. It sounds simple but you really can choose where your energy goes. It doesn’t mean that hard things won’t happen, but you do have control over how you react and move forward. I have SO many positive people and things in my life and focusing on these has really been a game changer.
As a people pleaser, not overthinking things does not come easily for me. I wish I didn’t care so much but I do. Sometimes when I overthink things I get so stuck in the “what ifs” that I don’t do anything at all…which was one of the reasons it took me so long to start this blog. I was thinking so much about it when I just needed to start! It is really freeing to just make a decision and move forward. If things don’t work out, you make another decision and you move forward again. I am a planner by nature and its hard for me to take things step by step but it makes such a huge difference.
You make time for what you want to fit in and everyone has different priorities for this. I can do a lot of things, but I can’t do everything. I have worked on feeling in control about what I choose to prioritize and not getting stuck in what I don’t. This has also helped me when I see someone else doing something and wonder how they fit it in. We all make choices about how we spend our time. Again, this has been such a empowering mindset and lets me feel like I have authority over my days and weeks instead of them controlling me.
Looking back really helps me realize how much we learn and grow every single day. I don’t know what 2019 will bring but I do know that when you know better you do better. I want to appreciate the wonderful people around me. I want to recognize the good because there really is so much. I want people to feel heard, when they are happy or excited and also when they are scared or worried. I want to say yes to the things that really matter to me and say NO to things that don’t feel good. I want to keep sharing about the things I love, and I also want to be honest about the things that are challenging. Life is so much better when we are all in this together. <3